Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize