I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
