I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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