another moral hangover. fuck.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
