You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
