guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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