i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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