yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
