That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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