so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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