my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
