Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
