no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
