I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm too high and old for this...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
