PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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