he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
