i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
