where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
