none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
