dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
