I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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