He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
