she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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