Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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