The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
