She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
