Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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