I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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