I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
