i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize