yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
