Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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