Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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