guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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