Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
