I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
