So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
