At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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