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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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