Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
