It's just like the Real World with babies
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
