what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
