We won't sleep together?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
