For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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