Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
