lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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