Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
