i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
