Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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