I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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