yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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