I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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