doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
