how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
