Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
