quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
